I had a mini rant on this. I covered it in a footnote on page 47…
Ok, so not page 47, I covered it in a footnote in Trinity Blood: RAGE!, but don't go read that right now, because I'm gonna do it again in a little bit more detail here. Then you can read the article and understand my rage without reading the footnote.
The biggest problem for these three Translation Nightmares stems from a fairly simple phenomenon, and most people interested in this sort of thing are already familiar with it. The Japanese phonetic system consists of roughly 45 basic parts. In this system, each symbol represents syllable consisting of either a vowel, a consonant then a vowel, or a closed n/m ending sound. Also, in this system, the English concept of "L" and "R" are covered by the same set of sounds. In the native, this representative sound can resemble anything from an "L" to a flipped "R" to even a "D." This, of course doesn't bother native speakers because their own language doesn't bother with the distinction (but believe me, they distinguish between plenty of other sounds). If anything, it's more of an issue for speakers of western languages to represent what they hear than it is for speakers of eastern languages to distinguish what they say.
Hellsing: Alucard vs. Arucard
The earliest of these three-- and probably most well-known-- is Hellsing's "Alucard vs. Arucard."
I stated earlier that when speaking standard Japanese, the distinction between "L" and "R" is a non-issue. Of course, this changes when trying to represent western or western-sounding words. Dracula, for instance, spelled something like ヅラクラ* comes back to the western speaker as something like "jurakura" or "julakula" but the important feature here is the ラ "ra/la" symbol. Some beg consistency, but a discerning interpreter would eventually recognize the word as "Dracula" and, rather than try to transliterate, a clearly non-sensical word, use the word that is intended.
*Non-Japanese words are represented by katakana in the Japanese written language. These are the symbols used here and hence forth for further illustration. p.s. I'm too lazy to look up the actual transliteration. It isn't important in this context anyway.
In the context of Hellsing, we have a character named アルカルド "Alucaludo" or "Arucarudo." In the translation, it came off as Alucard or Arucard. Other than the fact that one sounds like a name and the other sounds like an Engrish side dish, what's the nightmare here? Well, because translators and fans couldn't decide, we got two versions of the name in varying translations. Some demanded a "truness" to the "original" and that the name should only have "R"s (or only "L" but that argument doesn't seem to have shown up), but others recognized a subtlety: "Alucard" is "Dracula" spelled backwards.
The official translators eventually reached a "compromise": the dub said "Alucard" and the subtitles read "Arucard." Though this seems fair enough, considering subtitles are usually more literal and aimed at an audience more willing to do the interpretation themselves, some will still complain on both sides.
One Piece: Zoro vs. Zolo
The Zoro vs. Zolo mishap of One Piece has similar roots to Alucard/Arucard, so I won't spend any more time on that.
While most self-respecting American anime fans won't be caught dead with One Piece in their sights since 4kids raped it, I did read its original American publication in Shounen Jump's monthly magazine.
When I read it, my favorite character, the three-sword-wielding pirate hunter was named Roronoa Zoro and bore humorous references to numerous well-known characters, including South-Western hero, Zorro. He was an expert swordsman, at odds with the military because of his power and sense of justice. His headband often cast a mask-like shadow over his eyes. And Zoro's three-slash-in-one-pass finishing move even made the mark of a "Z" on the page. I was in junior high, and it was funny.
Then one day I opened the magazine and was introduced to "Roronoa Zolo." The f-ck? It wasn't until later that I learned of the anime on Fox (Zorro is "fox" in Spanish, BTW) and it became apparent that the name in the manga was changed to match it.
It is actually possible that, despite the fact that most of the kids watching the show had no idea who Zorro was, the walls of protection provided under parody provisions in copyright law simply couldn't withstand the wrath of the great god, Disney-sama. Or it's entirely possible that 4kids are a bunch of pussies. Or more possibly, Disney-sama and 4kids have teamed up to crush even more of our childhood.
Shortly after that change I lost interest in the series. Not to say that the name change caused me to stop reading, but the soured experience probably made it harder to hang on to what interest remained.
Trinity Blood: Ester vs. Estelle
This one is probably not very well known, but it's still the most gratuitous and infuriating to me.
Trinity Blood is infuriating enough as it is, and this character is probably most of the reason why. But her name is the icing on top.
Her name in Japanese is エステル "esuteru" or "esutelu," though when you listen to the Japanese dialogue, it sounds more like the latter. Most of the show is western in setting, so the translators at least got as far as "Ester" (even my computer tries to change "esuteru" to "ester"). But when you take into account the star-shaped birthmark on her body, numerous references to the "Star Queen," and the fact that she is informed by other characters in the show that her name means "star" in the ancient language of their country, Italy (making it Italian or Latin), it should be obvious: HER NAME IS ESTELLE, DAMNIT!!!!!
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, November 15, 2010
Homophobia = Sexism, plain and simple
11/15/2010
Sociology is always a good topic to make me mad. Or maybe just a good topic to make me depressed at how truly stupid people can get. Gender and sex, specifically. It's one of my favorite topics, but it's also one of the most infuriating.
Since our main subject right now is "inequality" we get to study civil rights and discrimination. As many of us may know, one of the hottest civil rights topics right about now is not race, but sexuality. So, fittingly enough, we watched a 1996 journalism program about same sex marriage.
In this program, I think heard the possibly most blatantly and public sexist statement since the 1960's, possibly 30's. High-ranking official goes on prime-time television and says, "Raising a boy in a lesbian household is child abuse. Depriving a boy of a father is child abuse."
Wait a minute. Consider a few situations, if you will: a single mother-- a widow, no less; a woman raising her grandson; a woman helping her daughter or sister raise a son; and just about any situation that would force a boy to be raised without the presence of a father-figure, sexuality of his guardian(s) completely withdrawn from the picture. Are any of these inherently child abuse? Is this guy trying to say to us that a widow is ABUSING her son simply by CARING for him without remarrying? Basically what this pans out to is that a woman, a pair of women, or even a GROUP of women are simply incapable of responsible and HUMANELY caring for a boy without a man present. But… hold it… who's supposed to be the nurturing gender, the one who takes care of the kids? Oh, right, that's supposed to be a "feminine" role.
So a woman's place/responsibility is to raise children, but she can't do it with out a man supervising her. I can't tell if this is a double standard, a statement to how incompetent this guy thinks women are, or just clear stupidity*. Probably all three.
*(If you look over this scenario closely you find that it is a case of someone being supervised by someone who's considered to be worse at the task they are performing than they are.)
Well, maybe women just aren't good enough to raise BOYS. But, no. Mr. High-And-Mighty catches himself-- he corrects that girls raised in lesbian household are also victims of child abuse. So apparently, women aren't even capable of raising girls on their own.
But don't worry, this guy is a pig in both directions. Apparently, children can't be raised without a mother-figure either. Sorry, single dads, you're all neglectful child-beaters, too.
Honestly, when you think about it, if a child is going to be raised without a dad (or without a mom) shouldn't it be better to have two loving parents and no dad (or mom) than just one parent and still no dad (or mom, as the case may be), loving though they may be. No offense to single parents, and by no means should a child be removed from their loving parent. At the end of the day, if you're going to evaluate family structures, and claim that some are better than others, you'd better be willing to accept the implications. Otherwise, STFU.
Sociology is always a good topic to make me mad. Or maybe just a good topic to make me depressed at how truly stupid people can get. Gender and sex, specifically. It's one of my favorite topics, but it's also one of the most infuriating.
Since our main subject right now is "inequality" we get to study civil rights and discrimination. As many of us may know, one of the hottest civil rights topics right about now is not race, but sexuality. So, fittingly enough, we watched a 1996 journalism program about same sex marriage.
In this program, I think heard the possibly most blatantly and public sexist statement since the 1960's, possibly 30's. High-ranking official goes on prime-time television and says, "Raising a boy in a lesbian household is child abuse. Depriving a boy of a father is child abuse."
Wait a minute. Consider a few situations, if you will: a single mother-- a widow, no less; a woman raising her grandson; a woman helping her daughter or sister raise a son; and just about any situation that would force a boy to be raised without the presence of a father-figure, sexuality of his guardian(s) completely withdrawn from the picture. Are any of these inherently child abuse? Is this guy trying to say to us that a widow is ABUSING her son simply by CARING for him without remarrying? Basically what this pans out to is that a woman, a pair of women, or even a GROUP of women are simply incapable of responsible and HUMANELY caring for a boy without a man present. But… hold it… who's supposed to be the nurturing gender, the one who takes care of the kids? Oh, right, that's supposed to be a "feminine" role.
So a woman's place/responsibility is to raise children, but she can't do it with out a man supervising her. I can't tell if this is a double standard, a statement to how incompetent this guy thinks women are, or just clear stupidity*. Probably all three.
*(If you look over this scenario closely you find that it is a case of someone being supervised by someone who's considered to be worse at the task they are performing than they are.)
Well, maybe women just aren't good enough to raise BOYS. But, no. Mr. High-And-Mighty catches himself-- he corrects that girls raised in lesbian household are also victims of child abuse. So apparently, women aren't even capable of raising girls on their own.
But don't worry, this guy is a pig in both directions. Apparently, children can't be raised without a mother-figure either. Sorry, single dads, you're all neglectful child-beaters, too.
Honestly, when you think about it, if a child is going to be raised without a dad (or without a mom) shouldn't it be better to have two loving parents and no dad (or mom) than just one parent and still no dad (or mom, as the case may be), loving though they may be. No offense to single parents, and by no means should a child be removed from their loving parent. At the end of the day, if you're going to evaluate family structures, and claim that some are better than others, you'd better be willing to accept the implications. Otherwise, STFU.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Trinity Blood: RAGE!
So I finished watching Trinity Blood with the anime club I help run. I haven't been so infuriated with an anime since Tokyo Underground; actually more so. Tokyo Underground is such a notably mundane anime, you can't even get on it's case about how bad it is. It just is, in all of it's mundane, cliche, and predictable glory. It was so average and un-noteworthy, it was a genuine time sink; It wasn't even bad enough to convince me to stop watching it. I want my nine hours back.
Trinity Blood, on the other hand, has a similar but much more pronounced problem. The issue with this series is not how bad it is, but how good it COULD be. It has the gaul to start off with an awesome first episode posing the question of the day: "if humans prey on animals, and vampires prey on humans, how terrifying must the creature that preys on vampires be? Seriously, what kind of bada-- freaking EATS VAMPIRES?! The main character of Trinity Blood, that's who. At least you'd think the show would be freaking awesome after an episode like that.
We then spend the next three or four episodes (keep in mind, this is a 26 ep series) SETTING THE SCENE in peaceful, futuristic European and Catholic hotspots-- Rome, Vatican, London, you get the picture-- and exposing an intricate religious-political drama. OK. Fine. I can deal with that; I like conspiracy theories. But I was promised vampires-- non-sparkly ones at that (well, maybe they're a little shiny, but more in an "aura of deadly crackling lightning" sort of way)-- vampires, vampire-eating monsters, aircraft with LASER BEAMS, guns, nano-bots, giant scythes, and BLOOD.
Anyway, this mini-arc has a girl-of-the-week kind of feel, mixed with a slice-of-life, and occasionally some bad guys get shot-- not by the main character, I might add; he spends more of his time smiling stupidly and asking young girls not to take revenge on those who have seriously wronged them, and more pointedly, will continue to wrong others in the form of BLOWING UP innocent cities.
Enter Rosette-- sorry, wrong nun-with-gun-- I mean, Colette-- oh, wait, that's that fail chick from Tales of Symphonia-- I mean, Estelle-- sorry, ESTER-- because that STAR-shaped birthmark on her butt-- sorry LOWER BACK-- has ABSOLUTELY NO INFLUENCE on her name whatsoever (stupid English translators).* So, now that I can remember her name (Ester, for those who couldn't decipher that), we meet Ester (this is killing me), a package deal of fail-sauce and boobs. Jing has his girl-of-the-week, Kino has hers, Father Nightroad (that's our main character) has his. I can deal with her whiney stupidity because she'll be gone by the end of the epis-- oh, it's a multi-parter. Ok, well, she'll bec=gone at the end of the ar-- she's going WITH him… Of all the girls, SHE'S the one that stays. WHY?! By the way, that whole nun-with-gun thing, her only semi-redeeming quality, you never see that again. Even though she's in more dangerous situations that ever, traveling with a priest that hunts vampires-- who, might I point out, hasn't done ANYTHING cool since the first episode-- NEVER makes a move to defend herself again.
We get a few more incidental characters-- a robotic paladin, a real paladin and his right hand lady (who's cooler than her is), a backgroundless but nonetheless badass swordsman-- and a few recurring characters-- palace guard/ex-crusader, Pope Fail, some vampire nobility, and, my favorite, the pincushion. We go through the rest of the extremely slow exposition (yes, the most of the show is exposition) and about once a disc, the show builds up to some form of fight or bada--ery, which usually comes out to a grand total of about three minutes. The build is ridiculously slow and boring (most of which I couldn't recount to any who asked by the next week), and the action, though cool, was short-lived and frequently cut short or alluded to more than seen.
By the last disc, I was ready to roll over dead. By the end of the disc, I was ready to KILL. I figured, this, at least would justify my forced patience. The first episode was epic, surely the finale would live up to that, at the very least. F--- no. Trinity Blood says "You wanted what? B---- please." It harbored the same slow build and teasing action the rest of the series but in less time. Sure, a bunch of awesome one-shot characters and few minor ones step up to the plate only to have their epicness alluded to while we get to listen to our token-vagina/kidnap-bait fail increasingly in previously inconceivable manners and then cry over said failures.
Why couldn't you have just STAYED in the bomb shelter, like he told you. Even The Child Pope Failure, grew a spine in the course of this show. Where were you? The 12-year-old Peter Pan references kicked more ass than you, and whined about it less, at that. ALL of our allies have pulled out every single stop and are off being bada--, and we're stuck watching this girl sitting in front of a coffin CRYING about what she's NOT out there doing, because she's in here, crying. WHY did we follow this character? Oh right, the crazy birthmark says she's the queen. Who DIDN'T see that coming? She certainly didn't, not that I'm surprised.
The worst part about this is how good it all could have been. The animation was pretty, not gorgeous, but it was trying. The computer graphics were kind of distracting to me, but it made for some pretty cool effects, like the lighting and blood. There WERE kick-a-- characters, even the non-martial ones, but we never got to see them in action for more than about three minutes or a few lines at a time. The intrigue and drama were genuine, but cut short and intermittent, in favor of one-shot or impertinent story arcs, no less.
People have been raving about Trinity Blood for a while. I wouldn't normally fault them; there was a good concept there, and SOME people were trying, but were quickly overshadowed. I was furious, literally throwing things at the TV. I would honestly like to see the sequel, or even the prequel; what little background was given to the true hero of the story revealed the character's younger self to be much better than his current personality and situation, and would lend itself to a beautiful drama; the story's wrap-up sends my two favorite characters, a newly resolved Father Night Road and the now spine-wielding pincushion, off on an epic man-hunt-- excuse me, vampire-eater-hunt-- out in the world withOUT the freshly crowned Queen Failsauce. I'd watch that if it were given ANY more care than it's predecessor.
*Those who don't quite get the Estelle/Ester thing: In Japanese, both Ester and Estelle would be spelled エステル. Whether this is interpreted as "E-SU-TE-RU"-- "Ester"-- or "E-SU-TE-LU"-- Estelle-- is completely up to which makes more sense; it's kind of like the Alucard/Arucard thing-- the former is "Dracula" spelled backward, fitting of a monstrous ancient vampire creature, and the latter is… nothing. Or a swordsman named "Zoro" (Zorro) having his name changed to "Zolo." I naturally assumed, because of the star-shaped mark on her and various references to a "Star Queen" that the name was "Estelle" but subtitles say "no." Even after one of the characters informs her that her name means "star" in the ancient language of their country (aka Latin or Italian), the translators refuse to budge.
Trinity Blood, on the other hand, has a similar but much more pronounced problem. The issue with this series is not how bad it is, but how good it COULD be. It has the gaul to start off with an awesome first episode posing the question of the day: "if humans prey on animals, and vampires prey on humans, how terrifying must the creature that preys on vampires be? Seriously, what kind of bada-- freaking EATS VAMPIRES?! The main character of Trinity Blood, that's who. At least you'd think the show would be freaking awesome after an episode like that.
We then spend the next three or four episodes (keep in mind, this is a 26 ep series) SETTING THE SCENE in peaceful, futuristic European and Catholic hotspots-- Rome, Vatican, London, you get the picture-- and exposing an intricate religious-political drama. OK. Fine. I can deal with that; I like conspiracy theories. But I was promised vampires-- non-sparkly ones at that (well, maybe they're a little shiny, but more in an "aura of deadly crackling lightning" sort of way)-- vampires, vampire-eating monsters, aircraft with LASER BEAMS, guns, nano-bots, giant scythes, and BLOOD.
Anyway, this mini-arc has a girl-of-the-week kind of feel, mixed with a slice-of-life, and occasionally some bad guys get shot-- not by the main character, I might add; he spends more of his time smiling stupidly and asking young girls not to take revenge on those who have seriously wronged them, and more pointedly, will continue to wrong others in the form of BLOWING UP innocent cities.
Enter Rosette-- sorry, wrong nun-with-gun-- I mean, Colette-- oh, wait, that's that fail chick from Tales of Symphonia-- I mean, Estelle-- sorry, ESTER-- because that STAR-shaped birthmark on her butt-- sorry LOWER BACK-- has ABSOLUTELY NO INFLUENCE on her name whatsoever (stupid English translators).* So, now that I can remember her name (Ester, for those who couldn't decipher that), we meet Ester (this is killing me), a package deal of fail-sauce and boobs. Jing has his girl-of-the-week, Kino has hers, Father Nightroad (that's our main character) has his. I can deal with her whiney stupidity because she'll be gone by the end of the epis-- oh, it's a multi-parter. Ok, well, she'll bec=gone at the end of the ar-- she's going WITH him… Of all the girls, SHE'S the one that stays. WHY?! By the way, that whole nun-with-gun thing, her only semi-redeeming quality, you never see that again. Even though she's in more dangerous situations that ever, traveling with a priest that hunts vampires-- who, might I point out, hasn't done ANYTHING cool since the first episode-- NEVER makes a move to defend herself again.
We get a few more incidental characters-- a robotic paladin, a real paladin and his right hand lady (who's cooler than her is), a backgroundless but nonetheless badass swordsman-- and a few recurring characters-- palace guard/ex-crusader, Pope Fail, some vampire nobility, and, my favorite, the pincushion. We go through the rest of the extremely slow exposition (yes, the most of the show is exposition) and about once a disc, the show builds up to some form of fight or bada--ery, which usually comes out to a grand total of about three minutes. The build is ridiculously slow and boring (most of which I couldn't recount to any who asked by the next week), and the action, though cool, was short-lived and frequently cut short or alluded to more than seen.
By the last disc, I was ready to roll over dead. By the end of the disc, I was ready to KILL. I figured, this, at least would justify my forced patience. The first episode was epic, surely the finale would live up to that, at the very least. F--- no. Trinity Blood says "You wanted what? B---- please." It harbored the same slow build and teasing action the rest of the series but in less time. Sure, a bunch of awesome one-shot characters and few minor ones step up to the plate only to have their epicness alluded to while we get to listen to our token-vagina/kidnap-bait fail increasingly in previously inconceivable manners and then cry over said failures.
Why couldn't you have just STAYED in the bomb shelter, like he told you. Even The Child Pope Failure, grew a spine in the course of this show. Where were you? The 12-year-old Peter Pan references kicked more ass than you, and whined about it less, at that. ALL of our allies have pulled out every single stop and are off being bada--, and we're stuck watching this girl sitting in front of a coffin CRYING about what she's NOT out there doing, because she's in here, crying. WHY did we follow this character? Oh right, the crazy birthmark says she's the queen. Who DIDN'T see that coming? She certainly didn't, not that I'm surprised.
The worst part about this is how good it all could have been. The animation was pretty, not gorgeous, but it was trying. The computer graphics were kind of distracting to me, but it made for some pretty cool effects, like the lighting and blood. There WERE kick-a-- characters, even the non-martial ones, but we never got to see them in action for more than about three minutes or a few lines at a time. The intrigue and drama were genuine, but cut short and intermittent, in favor of one-shot or impertinent story arcs, no less.
People have been raving about Trinity Blood for a while. I wouldn't normally fault them; there was a good concept there, and SOME people were trying, but were quickly overshadowed. I was furious, literally throwing things at the TV. I would honestly like to see the sequel, or even the prequel; what little background was given to the true hero of the story revealed the character's younger self to be much better than his current personality and situation, and would lend itself to a beautiful drama; the story's wrap-up sends my two favorite characters, a newly resolved Father Night Road and the now spine-wielding pincushion, off on an epic man-hunt-- excuse me, vampire-eater-hunt-- out in the world withOUT the freshly crowned Queen Failsauce. I'd watch that if it were given ANY more care than it's predecessor.
*Those who don't quite get the Estelle/Ester thing: In Japanese, both Ester and Estelle would be spelled エステル. Whether this is interpreted as "E-SU-TE-RU"-- "Ester"-- or "E-SU-TE-LU"-- Estelle-- is completely up to which makes more sense; it's kind of like the Alucard/Arucard thing-- the former is "Dracula" spelled backward, fitting of a monstrous ancient vampire creature, and the latter is… nothing. Or a swordsman named "Zoro" (Zorro) having his name changed to "Zolo." I naturally assumed, because of the star-shaped mark on her and various references to a "Star Queen" that the name was "Estelle" but subtitles say "no." Even after one of the characters informs her that her name means "star" in the ancient language of their country (aka Latin or Italian), the translators refuse to budge.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Best FMA FanFic Ever!
11/6/2010
posted 11/8/2010
So I'm going to put this here, cause it's really been on my brain and it's about all i've got. At this con, I'm surrounded by D&D and and Magic The Gathering, and I've got Fullmetal Aalchemist (FMA) fanfiction running though my head. That's what I'm doin': learning/playing 4th ed during the day and reading fanfiction at night.
Now, I know, this fanfiction thing is a little sad. I got into it around junior high or high school and I quickly learned my lesson. As a matter of fact, half of my aversion to most everything I am averse to in anime comes from my fanfiction experiences. But at that time, that's what I had: Shounen Jump and fanfiction. Every now and then, I'll get on a kick for some show or series (not always anime) and after devouring everything in my path (and some things that just weren't fast enough to get out of my way) my obsession still isn't worn off, so I end up digging through fan fiction until I eventually just get sick of the "bad."
But, for once, this tactic just isn't working. Guess why… GOOD fanfiction… Say what?! Yeah. I found it. The legends are true. More than that, I found not only a good story, but a good AUTHOR! … and she writes a LOT. The first of hers I found was a 22,000-word ONE-SHOT. Go back and read that again for emphasis; it looks stupid if I type it again. Yeah. Tell me about it. 20k words in a one-chapter story. The NaNo WriMo definition of a "novel" is 50k words. But every one of those 22 thousand words was pristine, cannon, and beautiful. Even when the characters had to be out of character, they did it in character. I won't bother to type how that works. Ask me some day and I'll explain it to you in spoken word. If anyone besides my mom ever reads this, I have Skype, iChat, and gmail; this will be worked out somehow.
Granted, a lot of my favorite series have aged, and I've noticed a lot of the fanfiction has with it, so I have been finding progressively less retarded material, as a rule. Still-- I have no idea people's major malfunction is-- but the grammar, spelling, vocabulary, and sentence structure remains as sh--y as ever. I used to look at this with great wonder insisting there was no way these writers could be over 15, until I joined creative writing classes at my college. Yes, high school graduates, and even college seniors, have just as terrible writing skills as 13-year-old fan-brats, disappointing me even more (which I seriously didn't think was possible) in the human race. But i think that's a different rant for a different time.
Anyway, I've decided that this is the best FMA fanfiction written to date. I've even started reading more of this person's stuff and this still hangs on as the best. They go by Bookwrm389 on FanFiction.net and the story that flattened me to the ground with it's crushing awesome is called Shadow of a Doubt. My fan senses, triggered by the awesome story and marvelous editing, went off on full alert when I read their bio and saw the rest of their stories. Their approach to writing, fanfiction, and fandom is right in swing with mine. I especially liked when I saw the commentary on FMA: Brotherhood and the FMA fans that like to trash it after 2-5 episodes; it completely makes the point I've been trying to get across as well, almost word for word.
Anyway, it's a brilliant, well constructed, whumping fic centering around Ed and Mustang portrayed with a really good NON-romantic relationship (omg! it exists! I'm SOOOOO happy!). If you have any interest in FMA, especially if you're sick of all the Roy-Ed slash, you should definitely check this out. It's brilliant.
posted 11/8/2010
The bottome line: FMA fans should check out Shadow of a Doubt by Bookwrm389
So I'm going to put this here, cause it's really been on my brain and it's about all i've got. At this con, I'm surrounded by D&D and and Magic The Gathering, and I've got Fullmetal Aalchemist (FMA) fanfiction running though my head. That's what I'm doin': learning/playing 4th ed during the day and reading fanfiction at night.
Now, I know, this fanfiction thing is a little sad. I got into it around junior high or high school and I quickly learned my lesson. As a matter of fact, half of my aversion to most everything I am averse to in anime comes from my fanfiction experiences. But at that time, that's what I had: Shounen Jump and fanfiction. Every now and then, I'll get on a kick for some show or series (not always anime) and after devouring everything in my path (and some things that just weren't fast enough to get out of my way) my obsession still isn't worn off, so I end up digging through fan fiction until I eventually just get sick of the "bad."
But, for once, this tactic just isn't working. Guess why… GOOD fanfiction… Say what?! Yeah. I found it. The legends are true. More than that, I found not only a good story, but a good AUTHOR! … and she writes a LOT. The first of hers I found was a 22,000-word ONE-SHOT. Go back and read that again for emphasis; it looks stupid if I type it again. Yeah. Tell me about it. 20k words in a one-chapter story. The NaNo WriMo definition of a "novel" is 50k words. But every one of those 22 thousand words was pristine, cannon, and beautiful. Even when the characters had to be out of character, they did it in character. I won't bother to type how that works. Ask me some day and I'll explain it to you in spoken word. If anyone besides my mom ever reads this, I have Skype, iChat, and gmail; this will be worked out somehow.
Granted, a lot of my favorite series have aged, and I've noticed a lot of the fanfiction has with it, so I have been finding progressively less retarded material, as a rule. Still-- I have no idea people's major malfunction is-- but the grammar, spelling, vocabulary, and sentence structure remains as sh--y as ever. I used to look at this with great wonder insisting there was no way these writers could be over 15, until I joined creative writing classes at my college. Yes, high school graduates, and even college seniors, have just as terrible writing skills as 13-year-old fan-brats, disappointing me even more (which I seriously didn't think was possible) in the human race. But i think that's a different rant for a different time.
Anyway, I've decided that this is the best FMA fanfiction written to date. I've even started reading more of this person's stuff and this still hangs on as the best. They go by Bookwrm389 on FanFiction.net and the story that flattened me to the ground with it's crushing awesome is called Shadow of a Doubt. My fan senses, triggered by the awesome story and marvelous editing, went off on full alert when I read their bio and saw the rest of their stories. Their approach to writing, fanfiction, and fandom is right in swing with mine. I especially liked when I saw the commentary on FMA: Brotherhood and the FMA fans that like to trash it after 2-5 episodes; it completely makes the point I've been trying to get across as well, almost word for word.
Anyway, it's a brilliant, well constructed, whumping fic centering around Ed and Mustang portrayed with a really good NON-romantic relationship (omg! it exists! I'm SOOOOO happy!). If you have any interest in FMA, especially if you're sick of all the Roy-Ed slash, you should definitely check this out. It's brilliant.
Friday, November 5, 2010
F---ing Flux!
11/5/2010
posted 11/8/2010
My friends took me to Nano Con, a small game con in South Dakota. The first night, they pulled out Flux, possibly one of the most frustrating card games on the face of the planet. The entire game is dedicated to systematically changing the rules and messing with your hand. I'd never played before, and I quickly realized there was no call for strategy; it simply does no good. Like many people at the table seemed to already know, the game is much more enjoyable when you just give up on trying to win and simply attempt to f--- with the rules in the most ridiculous and/or mutually frustrating way possible. A little masochism and a LOT of schadenfreude-- that's what takes to make this game some of the most companionable misery one can find.
posted 11/8/2010
My friends took me to Nano Con, a small game con in South Dakota. The first night, they pulled out Flux, possibly one of the most frustrating card games on the face of the planet. The entire game is dedicated to systematically changing the rules and messing with your hand. I'd never played before, and I quickly realized there was no call for strategy; it simply does no good. Like many people at the table seemed to already know, the game is much more enjoyable when you just give up on trying to win and simply attempt to f--- with the rules in the most ridiculous and/or mutually frustrating way possible. A little masochism and a LOT of schadenfreude-- that's what takes to make this game some of the most companionable misery one can find.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Marketing Schemes: They're called "schemes" for a reason
11/2/2010
I recently got a new phone. Nothing fancy. Just a Tr*cFone to replace my old one. (*this is where an "a" is supposed to go, but I'll tell you why it's not there in a minute.) It's three years old and the 7 key is worn out. That's not good as it is, but that also happens to be the key with "r" and "s" on it. Texting becomes a b----. I've also been having battery problems for a while.
Anyway, I went to their website and purchased one of their cheap phone packages-- something with double minutes and a 60 min card. Nice little deal. I have no need for a complicated phone. What's the battery like? Does it have a phonebook? Does it text? Can I put my phone charms/straps on it? That's all I ask. The one I picked happened to have a USB charger. That made my day. I'm loving M*torola more by the second. (*this one has an "o" in it.)
So I love these two companies pretty well. The former is the only cell phone company i've seen that i don't feel like their secretly trying to rip me off. I can literally and easily do the math and decide how much I want to be ripped off, or not. And I don't feel like their trying to sell me something I don't want. The latter just pleases me with their product more every time I run into them. My nice, good-natured Japanese company. It's difficult for a large company to gain my affections, what with my paranoias and hatred for large organizations.
So if I'm so pleased by these companies, why am I censoring them out? One word: Marketing. Not two hours after I visit the site and PURCHASE A PHONE, does EVERY add on my computer suddenly become a Tr*cFone add, some of which are the same package I purchased or one of the ones very similar. WTF?! "I've already got one!" That's why I was on their site morons! Leave me the f--- alone!
Now, despite the previous expletive "WTF," I'm actually not surprised or baffled in the least. I've known for years that marketers and other sites crawl your computer and cache for how best to lure in your soul into their clutches. I realized the extent of it a few years ago when logging into F*cebook for the first time in months, and I found a message put on my news feed telling me an everyone I had on my "friend" list about a game i had played on a DIFFERENT site three or four weeks before. It may have even had my score. That was when I knew for sure that F*acebook was evil.
And, for as much as I love G*ogle, they've gotten really good at this reading-your-personality-by-looking-at-your-browsing-history thing-- scary good. One side of me admires the technical, programing, and design genius; the other is sick with fear. You know they don't have to stop at your browsing history… or marketing. G*ogle still has some decent ethics when it comes to this kind of stuff, and I still like them-- they're geniuses-- but G*ogleChr*me? G*ogle cell phone? I think not.
I've said for a long time that I don't believe in government conspiracy theories. The Gov just isn't competent enough. Organizations, religions, and large corporations? That's an entirely different story. They have the cunning, the resources, and the malice to do it. (Seriously, women's clothing sizes. WTF? Most impractical and inconsistent measuring scheme ever devised. Why? Only they know, but it's a conspiracy, I tell you.) And if it will get them money or power, especially businesses, they will.
If I disappear in a few months, you all know why.
I recently got a new phone. Nothing fancy. Just a Tr*cFone to replace my old one. (*this is where an "a" is supposed to go, but I'll tell you why it's not there in a minute.) It's three years old and the 7 key is worn out. That's not good as it is, but that also happens to be the key with "r" and "s" on it. Texting becomes a b----. I've also been having battery problems for a while.
Anyway, I went to their website and purchased one of their cheap phone packages-- something with double minutes and a 60 min card. Nice little deal. I have no need for a complicated phone. What's the battery like? Does it have a phonebook? Does it text? Can I put my phone charms/straps on it? That's all I ask. The one I picked happened to have a USB charger. That made my day. I'm loving M*torola more by the second. (*this one has an "o" in it.)
So I love these two companies pretty well. The former is the only cell phone company i've seen that i don't feel like their secretly trying to rip me off. I can literally and easily do the math and decide how much I want to be ripped off, or not. And I don't feel like their trying to sell me something I don't want. The latter just pleases me with their product more every time I run into them. My nice, good-natured Japanese company. It's difficult for a large company to gain my affections, what with my paranoias and hatred for large organizations.
So if I'm so pleased by these companies, why am I censoring them out? One word: Marketing. Not two hours after I visit the site and PURCHASE A PHONE, does EVERY add on my computer suddenly become a Tr*cFone add, some of which are the same package I purchased or one of the ones very similar. WTF?! "I've already got one!" That's why I was on their site morons! Leave me the f--- alone!
Now, despite the previous expletive "WTF," I'm actually not surprised or baffled in the least. I've known for years that marketers and other sites crawl your computer and cache for how best to lure in your soul into their clutches. I realized the extent of it a few years ago when logging into F*cebook for the first time in months, and I found a message put on my news feed telling me an everyone I had on my "friend" list about a game i had played on a DIFFERENT site three or four weeks before. It may have even had my score. That was when I knew for sure that F*acebook was evil.
And, for as much as I love G*ogle, they've gotten really good at this reading-your-personality-by-looking-at-your-browsing-history thing-- scary good. One side of me admires the technical, programing, and design genius; the other is sick with fear. You know they don't have to stop at your browsing history… or marketing. G*ogle still has some decent ethics when it comes to this kind of stuff, and I still like them-- they're geniuses-- but G*ogleChr*me? G*ogle cell phone? I think not.
I've said for a long time that I don't believe in government conspiracy theories. The Gov just isn't competent enough. Organizations, religions, and large corporations? That's an entirely different story. They have the cunning, the resources, and the malice to do it. (Seriously, women's clothing sizes. WTF? Most impractical and inconsistent measuring scheme ever devised. Why? Only they know, but it's a conspiracy, I tell you.) And if it will get them money or power, especially businesses, they will.
If I disappear in a few months, you all know why.
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